CANCER

About 1 year ago a rountine CAT scan revealed nodules in both of my lungs.( In 2008 I found out in and strangling my spleen, adrenal gland and tail of pancreas was a pretty huge tumor.) This was the reason I was having rountine CAT's to find out if any new cancer was coming back.

In finding these nodules in 2010 the doctors started watching them and after two CAT's being done they decided to wait six months to repeat a CAT. Well needless to say, my wonderful doctor ordered a PET scan because he felt it was time to check these nodules out. The results of PET scan was, nodules had grown a teenie tiny bit and there was a spot on the head of my pancreas so he also ordered a biopsy of my right lung. You know I was afraid of the biopsy, I couldn't imagine how it might hurt. But when it was done...it was nothing that I had imagined and boy did my imagination run amuck.

A few days later I received a call and my doctor told me it was cancer and they felt for sure it was pancreatic. Which meant it came from my pancreas! When the surgeon removed this huge tumor he felt for sure he got it all so in visiting an oncologist at that time, they felt no chemo was necessary. But isn't that how mean cancer is, it creeps up through your blood stream and tries to hide but my doctors and those all checking this biopsy and keeping a close eye on it found the culprit.

From there I was referred to an oncologist and what an eye opening appointment. My family came with me and we learned about my health and the issue I would be facing. A lot of my family are broken from so many losses already and all I could think of that day was, how in the world are my sweet family going to deal with this? It hurt me to see the fear, questions, and pain they felt of the unknown. But because of our faith in Jesus Christ, we all talked with my doctor, had questions answered, cried, hugged, and accepted what we had all just learned. Ya know, today it is common practice to get a second opinion but ya know, I am a child of the King and He knows all about this before anyone knew. I don't need a second opinion, I just need Jesus to guide me and carry me and my family through this time.

I have went through a lot of thinking, wondering, and just praying trusting God with it all. I cannot add a day, minute, second to my life but I can live for Christ knowing He is healer and He can do it if I will trust Him with my life as when I first was saved. I choose to trust Him, I have tried too many times to fix issues with me on my own and hit a wall every time. But my God has never disappointed me even when I lost my son. It broke my heart and hurt deeply but my son taught me about this battle for he faced it but won not here on earth but in heaven. He felt no self pity...he only wanted God to be glorified in this fight he fought with cancer. He taught me to trust God and because of that I too want God to be glorified.

When I left the doctors office I knew my life would never be the same. But I also walked knowing my life was in God's hands and I would truly rest in Him. Don't get me wrong, satan has tried many times to steal my peace but he ain't going to win that at all in my heart.

I came home with the name of my first chemo that will be started when the time comes, a book on pancreatic cancer, and a awareness that I will be in for a fight. But really, God the mighty healer can heal me and whatever is required for my healing according to His will, will be done.

On December 28th I will return to my oncologist and from there I will see what 2012 has for me. Each day I will live my life knowing I am God's creation and He will guide me each day and show me how to live my life to the fullest.

One thing I can say, I feel prayers from many persons, my church, my family, and many whom I don't know. God is good!

Cancer is horrible, it took my sons, my daddy's, and my brothers life but because we all believe we have hope and that hope is a nail in a sure place.

I will do my best to write about my experience. I pray God will guide me and help me to share my heart song in the days to come.

God Bless

 

Written by Mammy ©2011

 

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