It has almost been 1 1/2 years since we lost our beloved son. It has not been easy and a day doesn't go by that our hearts don't cry or think of him in our daily lives. He gave us so much in our lives...he gave us laughter, he gave us praying hearts, he gave us himself and all he could give us, he was strong, determined, saturated with the challenge to live a life in honor of God even though he wasn't perfect. He was committed to his children even to the point he was willing to sacrifice his own happiness so their lives could be free of a tug-a-war through divorce.
Jerry was our flower and scent in this life that challenged us as parents...He was strong in his belief's even if it meant ridicule. I remember a time when Jerry was challenged in his Biology Class in which his teacher told us in a conference that Jerry knew God's Word and that as a teacher he could not disprove what Jerry believed, shared and challenged him with. That is one day we walked out with a thankful heart for someone so young held true to his own childish commitment to Christ. Then through the years Jerry led many friends in our home to Jesus with his sister right there. He and his sister known as sissy when they were small, stood together close until they reached the ripe age of young adult life.
As a mother I prayed for Jerry many nights and days. I desired him to be happy and find peace in a relationship that would last a lifetime but through his own struggles Jerry found marriage quite a challenge with women who said they believed as he did but when the vows were taken, they would challenge every bit of faith he had in Jesus Christ. Many a times Jerry would bring his children to church alone because he felt his roots were to be passed down to his children...He was taunted when he made mistakes...he was totally misunderstood but Jerry kept trying to make them work. He loved great...deep...and the way God would want him to but his heart was tore apart by a lifestyle he fought so hard not to live out. In all his trials, Jerry still kept coming back to Jesus...he never ran far when he was running in the direction God didn't want him to...God drew him back into His open arms.
Jerry was given a few beautiful gifts from God and they were 3 children whom he loved with all his heart..He also gained 2 other children through a difficult marriage yet these 2 children were raised by Jerry and they became like his own children. He supported them and cared for them and taught them...As young adults that these children are...Jerry left a legacy of hard work, school, and integrity. All these children except for one who is a young teen as I write this have dreams and goals to which they are all working towards. These children learned how a family must work together to keep a household going. Jerry also had 2 other boys which he had a short relationship with that he shared Jesus Christ with. Jerry in his life affected 7 children and whether they learn from him and use it in their lives is truly in their hands.
The envelope above represents all that Jerry didn't share with the loves of his life...He kept much to himself and shared only with those he loved. His best friend was his earthly father in which they shared a lot in common. That inner strength from God above. They shared discipline of home, mind, lifestyle, and faith. They were hardworking men together and spent many hours talking and sharing as they toiled. Even 2 weeks before Jerry II passed: he shared that it was time for him to go. I did not know this as his mother for my heart would have burst within my breast. I could not have contained myself at all for I desired so much to keep on believing even to the night my son went to be with Jesus in heaven that he would be healed or beat cancer.
Many hours I myself would talk with our son about marriage and commitment and how difficult it is in the best of relationships. He would always ask me as his mother to pray for him that he would make right choices at the right times.
I believe Jerry in his heart sought God's favor but had hell at his back door...but God won our son's affections!
It was in July on my birthday in 2007 that our beloved son had been sick for quite awhile. He was working hard and had gotten a good job with a company in San Francisco. He was so happy and he had just gotten a brand new truck from them. On my birthday dinner with he and his wife, Jerry was in the bathroom losing his meal he had eaten with us. During the summer he stayed in the bathroom losing everything he ate. Jerry stayed sick the whole summer and lost 65 pounds and got very weak and very sick but kept working until one day a boss said: go home Jerry and find out what is going on with you. A appointment was made and they proceeded to start doing tests on Jerry. By early September, Jerry was diagnosed with stomach cancer...gastric cancer...adenocarcinoma. They estimated he would live 5 months...the young doctor who did the laproscoptic biopsy told me Stage III. He said: hope its not gastric but it was. That began Jerry's fight to live. The first thing he said after he found out and our family gathered around him was: I want God to be glorified. We all gathered together and prayed with Jerry who prayed first for others and that God would be glorified through this trial in his precious young life.
My son went through a tremendous amount of suffering but never let on...so much strife occured around him and no matter how much everybody in his family wanted to help they were put through an ungodly test of worthiness. But God knew in it all Jerry was coming home and he would finally be free from being hurt. God knew the future and somehow in His infinite wisdom took our child home to be at rest once and for all. I find it still hard and find my days crying in the midnight hours but know my God will supply the strength we all need until we are reunited with our son.
I dedicate this page to my son and those who are fighting the same fight with "gastric cancer." Never take for granted that a tummy ache is just something you ate. Never think ulcers will go away on their own. Never think that H-Pylori cannot cause cancer...Never think that you will get well by hard work and forgetting about your health. Our son worked hard, cared for his family, and was determined to put himself last. Please be aware "gastric cancer" is not a cancer you can beat unless you be agressive and watch for early signs of stomach trouble.
This "gastric cancer" scrapbook set was designed by a dear friend who freely designed it and gave it to me to share my love and to journal my memories of my precious angel sent from heaven who now rests in the arms of Jesus, my mother, and my brother Teddy Bear.
