If Only They Could Understand

I need not explain that it has been 2 years since my husband and I lost our son to cancer. We are comforted in the fact that “he is in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ.” And that is what daily gets us through our days.

Recently, I joined a precious group of parents who have lost children of all ages and I feel their hearts and its sufferings. As I write them and chat with them, I just want to reach through time and hold them. Yet, I know nothing on this earth can really comfort except the Lord and I know Jesus lets us mourn and weep for our child.

One thing I have learned through this is when I comfort other parents, I too am comforted…Amazing just as Christ comforts us, we comfort others. As I studied my devotion for today, that is exactly true in God’s Word and in a Christian’s life.

These last 2 years have been the most difficult time of my life. I cannot even begin to explain how I feel for I am still numb and traumatized by so much loss. Every morning by the power of God I arise and start my day. Then when I get started my broken heart surfaces and I seek the Lord to get through every second of the day. Sometimes I find myself wanting everyone to be silent so I can rest in the Lord. I find I have become hypersensitive to loud sounds, loud music, loud people, and just anything that tries to steal my peace that God is giving me. God gave me the gift of laughter and a lot of times I let loose but deep down inside I could cry out loud of how much I hurt inside.

I love the scripture “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” Romans 8:35-37 niv

The family, the church, the friends, the children, and all those who cannot fathom loss, they separate from you but Christ Jesus doesn’t. What I am trying to say is: lean on the Lord at all times, in all circumstances and through all trials.

Others will disappoint you but God won’t!

So in the years to come, I will learn to lean on my God and His promises.

Two years has come and gone and still our hearts are pierced and we wait for our own redemption to where our hearts will be healed in Jesus name. No longer will they be pierced but be made whole again by being reunited with our son in heaven.

To those who have lost a child…my heart cries for you!

Written by Mammy ©2010

 

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